Title Sense
Many children are allowed and even encouraged to address adults by their first names. The Stickiness comes in when a parent has a different attitude than the adult being talked to. For example, let's take Mommy Mollie and her son Sammy, who have just run into a friend of Mollie's, Franny:
Mollie: Franny! How are you?
Franny: Mollie! Good to see you! Is this your little guy you talk about at the gym?
Mollie: It sure is - this is Sammy. Sammy, meet Franny!
At this point Franny would rather be called Mrs. So-and-so. The polite thing to do:
Franny: Hi Sammy, I would love it if you called me Mrs. So-and-so. Can I call you Sammy?
And if Mommy Mollie makes any fuss:
Mollie: Oh, he'll never remember that!
Franny: Don't worry about it if that happens, I just enjoy children! I would really prefer it though if he used Mrs.
The opposite is also a Sticky Situation. For example, if Mommy Mollie wants her children to use titles to show respect and other people are not interested:
Mollie: Franny! How are you?
Franny: Mollie! Good to see you! Is this your little guy you talk about at the gym?
Mollie: It sure is - this is Sammy. Sammy, meet Mrs. So-and-so.
Franny: Oh, have him call me Franny, it is so much easier.
Mollie: How nice of you, but I am trying to teach him to use Mr. And Mrs.
At this point, most people do not make an issue of the kid calling them one thing or another. Also, it is a good idea to not put in an explanation such as, "I'm trying to teach him the right way'" or, "I'm teaching him to respect adults," as both of those indicate that you feel the way that they just suggested was not friendly but grossly disrespectful and odious.
If you are unsure what the adult wishes to be called, then just ask:
Mollie: Franny! How are you?
Franny: Mollie! Good to see you! Is this your little guy you talk about at the gym?
Mollie: It sure is - this is Sammy. How would you like him to address you?
Franny: Oh! Miss Franny is just fine!
As a note of interest, when introducing two people you should always give the introduction to the older person first, out of respect:
Mrs. Smith, this is Jimmy. Jimmy, this is my grandmother, Mrs. Smith.
Mollie: Franny! How are you?
Franny: Mollie! Good to see you! Is this your little guy you talk about at the gym?
Mollie: It sure is - this is Sammy. Sammy, meet Franny!
At this point Franny would rather be called Mrs. So-and-so. The polite thing to do:
Franny: Hi Sammy, I would love it if you called me Mrs. So-and-so. Can I call you Sammy?
And if Mommy Mollie makes any fuss:
Mollie: Oh, he'll never remember that!
Franny: Don't worry about it if that happens, I just enjoy children! I would really prefer it though if he used Mrs.
The opposite is also a Sticky Situation. For example, if Mommy Mollie wants her children to use titles to show respect and other people are not interested:
Mollie: Franny! How are you?
Franny: Mollie! Good to see you! Is this your little guy you talk about at the gym?
Mollie: It sure is - this is Sammy. Sammy, meet Mrs. So-and-so.
Franny: Oh, have him call me Franny, it is so much easier.
Mollie: How nice of you, but I am trying to teach him to use Mr. And Mrs.
At this point, most people do not make an issue of the kid calling them one thing or another. Also, it is a good idea to not put in an explanation such as, "I'm trying to teach him the right way'" or, "I'm teaching him to respect adults," as both of those indicate that you feel the way that they just suggested was not friendly but grossly disrespectful and odious.
If you are unsure what the adult wishes to be called, then just ask:
Mollie: Franny! How are you?
Franny: Mollie! Good to see you! Is this your little guy you talk about at the gym?
Mollie: It sure is - this is Sammy. How would you like him to address you?
Franny: Oh! Miss Franny is just fine!
As a note of interest, when introducing two people you should always give the introduction to the older person first, out of respect:
Mrs. Smith, this is Jimmy. Jimmy, this is my grandmother, Mrs. Smith.
posted by Canton Mommy | 2:11 PM
2 Comments:
Be careful when asking someone how you'd like your child to address them. Someone (like me) might propose something like, "Great and Wise Leader, Example to All Humanity", and suggest you address him/her in the same fashion.
Also, when explaining the Mr./Ms./Mrs. titles, try not to say, "I want my child to respect old people." Old people, due to their denial of their age, don't react well to this.
Finally, telling your child, "I know Mrs. Smith smells, but that's the way old people smell" is best saved for when Mrs. Smith is out of earshot. Better just to smack said child's hand off his/her nose and tell him/her that Barney the dinosaur (or a favorite pet or cartoon character) will die if he/she does that again.
I am glad to have the extra insights. I will, then, refrain from mentioning smelly old people's problems in front of them.
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