Thank You and Have a Good Day

Here is something that is just plain nice. There are many people doing jobs that are thankless. As an extra measure of kindness, try Thanking them. They may have to do it as a job requirement, but it would be nice if they knew that someone was paying attention. Also, if somebody wishes you good-bye" as you leave a store where you have (or have not) purchased everything, try stopping, looking them in the eye, and saying,"Thank You." and smile.

This idea came about when I was at the fitness center today. This place has people who do nothing but wash towels and fold them for you. They fold towels long after my eyes would have crossed and fallen out of my head. Today, I thanked them. The elderly gentleman actually grinned at me. He could have been laughing, but I prefer to think he was glad someone had said something - and something nice, to boot. As I left, the lady tending the front counter said, "Have a good night!" as I rushed past. This is a person who runs member cards through for 8 hours at a time. I think she appreciated that I turned and said, "Thanks, you too!". If you start looking around you will find many people that deserve an extra "Atta Boy!": Grocery baggers, bank tellers, fast food workers and many more. Try it for one day and post your results, I would be interested to know who you found to be nice to.

Title Sense

Many children are allowed and even encouraged to address adults by their first names. The Stickiness comes in when a parent has a different attitude than the adult being talked to. For example, let's take Mommy Mollie and her son Sammy, who have just run into a friend of Mollie's, Franny:

Mollie: Franny! How are you?

Franny: Mollie! Good to see you! Is this your little guy you talk about at the gym?

Mollie: It sure is - this is Sammy. Sammy, meet Franny!

At this point Franny would rather be called Mrs. So-and-so. The polite thing to do:

Franny: Hi Sammy, I would love it if you called me Mrs. So-and-so. Can I call you Sammy?

And if Mommy Mollie makes any fuss:

Mollie: Oh, he'll never remember that!

Franny: Don't worry about it if that happens, I just enjoy children! I would really prefer it though if he used Mrs.

The opposite is also a Sticky Situation. For example, if Mommy Mollie wants her children to use titles to show respect and other people are not interested:

Mollie: Franny! How are you?

Franny: Mollie! Good to see you! Is this your little guy you talk about at the gym?

Mollie: It sure is - this is Sammy. Sammy, meet Mrs. So-and-so.

Franny: Oh, have him call me Franny, it is so much easier.

Mollie: How nice of you, but I am trying to teach him to use Mr. And Mrs.

At this point, most people do not make an issue of the kid calling them one thing or another. Also, it is a good idea to not put in an explanation such as, "I'm trying to teach him the right way'" or, "I'm teaching him to respect adults," as both of those indicate that you feel the way that they just suggested was not friendly but grossly disrespectful and odious.

If you are unsure what the adult wishes to be called, then just ask:

Mollie: Franny! How are you?

Franny: Mollie! Good to see you! Is this your little guy you talk about at the gym?

Mollie: It sure is - this is Sammy. How would you like him to address you?

Franny: Oh! Miss Franny is just fine!

As a note of interest, when introducing two people you should always give the introduction to the older person first, out of respect:

Mrs. Smith, this is Jimmy. Jimmy, this is my grandmother, Mrs. Smith.

Sensible Cell Phones

Rudeness is inherent when you are in a public place ignoring the public. When you are carrying on a conversation with somebody that is not there, it is, in effect, telling the people that are there that they are not as important as some disembodied voice on your phone. Here is a short list of cell phone etiquette suggestions:

1. Set your ringer on vibrate and put it in a pocket. Why? Well, no one really wants to hear the P Diddy song your phone plays every time it rings. Or worse yet, Kenny Rogers.
2. Step out of the general public's way to have a conversation. Show the rest of the world that you are removed from it at this moment and are engaged with something else.
3. Do not carry on a conversation in line at the store. Usually the conversation can wait until you are not somehow involved with some activity in society.
4. In places that are inherently quieter - a library, a serene park, etc, turn it off. If you are expecting a call, see suggestion #1.
5. Do not answer the phone while you are in a public bathroom stall. That is just wrong.
6. Do not type or read text messages while holding a conversation with a warm body. If it is VERY important, excuse yourself as though someone else has walked up. I find this to be the RUDEST cell phone behavior.
7. Text messaging should never occur during a meal. The idea here is that the people that you are wit should take precedence over the people who you are not with.
8. Don't talk and drive if you can avoid it. Especially at intersections or on highways. Studies have shown that talking on a phone - even hands free - can be as bad as driving drunk.

If everyone followed these suggestions, the busy technology based world would be a touch nicer and maybe even safer.

Initiation

This blog is where I will post advice about anything that comes to mind, or any questions that I am sent. I don't have any background in manners, but I do have a very strong opinion about how people should behave. I welcome any input and creative criticism.